Current Mood

Current Mood.

As I sat down to write, logged in and dusted off the old blog, I stumbled upon a post with this title sitting unfinished in my drafts folder. Its original intent was to be a round up fo random things I wanted to share with you, inspired by why I got started (and stuck with) blogging in the first place: a love for discovery and sharing. Yesterday I painted a wall in our entryway with a paint color with this exact name, Current Mood — besides being a color I liked, it felt fitting for a project to be tackling during this time, this current state of the world, these current mood(s) we’re all feeling each day as we try and navigate just what the fuck is happening.

While I’m not here to try and sell you any pricey loungewear to make all this extra at home time more comfy, I am here to say that it’s okay to not feel okay right now. What we’re dealing with is not normal, nor is it something that has ever happened like this before — there is no textbook here! Nobody knows how to feel!

I had really rough time settling into this; there was this energy buzzing through me, a combination of anxiety, restlessness and uncertainty. I’m someone who thrives with structure, plans and busyness, all of which came screeching to a halt when I found myself forced to work from home, in a 700 square foot apartment, with another person and a dog, and no idea what was really happening or how long things would be like this for. And that was a lot for me. And I didn’t do well processing it all that first week — I didn’t know how to feel or what to do or how to make myself feel better.

I have no big secrets or life changing advice coming out of that first week, but I can tell you that I’ve managed to feel a lot better by focusing on taking things (including my own feelings) day by day. So many “who knows?” questions remain but I’ve been working on creating my own structure where I can and creating space to seize this opportunity of extra time and space for myself, both as a chance to feel productive and a means to unwind and slow down.

When I was in the thick of a negative spiral, Josh suggested I spend some time brainstorming things I could do during this time — from projects around our apartment to ways to sit around and kill time — and as silly (or maybe neurotic) as it sounds, it’s helped. A lot. The list I’ve titled ‘things to do to avoid going insane πŸ€ͺ’ has helped me feel more normal, more grounded, more productive. It has inspired me to actually sit down and do thoseΒ one day things that feel impossible when we’re dealing with the grind of everyday life, it’s made me more intentional about putting the work in to stay connected to important people in my life, it’s given me an excuse to sit down and do nothing without an ounce of guilt, and it’s created my own unique path through this, one checked off to do list item at a time in the Notes folder on my iPhone.

I sat down to write this post with one goal in mind really — to let you know that you’re okay, wherever you are, however you’re feeling. You’re okay in the moments where things feel scary and bad. You’re okay whether you’re up to date on every news headline, or have tuned things out completely. You’re okay whether you’re getting through this thing solo or hunkering down with others. We’re all okay and every day is a new opportunity to pause for a moment to acknowledge that while we’re all going through this together we’re still figuring things out as individuals, and that the impact and experience we each have remains unique. Be patient with yourself and others, and remember that the only way through this is together.

And to wrap this up and bring this thing full circle I figured I might as well share a few random things I’d recommend at the moment: